Gross

Chew with your mouth closed.

Pig.

Spelling lesson

When there is no noise, it's q-u-i-e-t.  Not q-u-i-t-e.

Live it, learn, know it.

Purple Mascara?

Hi, I just thought I'd let you know that purple mascara doesn't really make your eyes look bluer.  It makes your 60-year old self look ridiculous.

Almay has a lot to answer for.

Poor Bon Scott

I dreamed I was at an amusement park last night.  I'm not sure which one, but apparently it had a wicked ride that made me yak.  Unfortunately, I also puked in real life while I was asleep.  In my mouth.  Let me tell you, that is not a fun way to wake up.  How drunk do you have to be before you drown in your own vomit?

Dang!  That's a crappy way to go.

Michael Scott May be the King of the Email Forward...

...but I am the Queen of the email forward etiquette.   Well, self-professed Queen.  OK, what this really is is a list of pet peeves.

I love getting jokes, funny pictures and the touching stories that make me sob like a freaking baby.  I even forward the really good ones on to others.  What I’m tired of is wading through mountains of text until I get to the story/joke/list of things from when we were younger than rocks, etc.  Please see the suggested guidelines listed below:

1. Clean up the subject line.  If I see the “FW:”, I will automatically click delete.
2. Remove the prior senders’ information and comments.  I don’t need to know what Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice have to say about the joke/story/tale of woe/bad luck chain letter.  I don’t know them
3. Speaking of Bad Luck Chain Letters; knock it off!
4. Finally, regarding the emails that claim if you “send this email to 10 people, watch hat happens!  It’s awesome!  Blew my mind!”  So, what will happen?  Nothing.  Nothing will happen.  Well, I suppose something will have happened.  You will have wasted 10 minutes of your time.  And mine.  And Bob’s & Carol’s & Ted’s & Alice’s.  

Snark out!

Vocabulary word of the Day - Snark

Snark [snahrk] - noun - a mysterious, imaginary animal.

Origin: 1876; coined by Lewis Carroll in his poem The Hunting of the Snark

Or, as defined by Urban Dictionary:

Snark – noun - Combination of "snide" and "remark". Sarcastic comment(s). Also snarky (adj.) and snarkily (adv.)

His commentary was rife with snark.

"Your boundless ineptitude is astounding," she snarkily declared.

Much better!